My youngest child, Lover Boy, 
has no fear… or so I thought. He seems to be very brave and throws caution to the wind. Of course he is the only one in our family who has experienced broken bones. Even though he scares me half to death with his stunts and tricks, I admire his courage. So, I was very surprised and frustrated when he was paralysed by fear.
A little later he was at the top of a ridge that he and his brothers had been up and down several times. It was not as high as the boulders. His brother’s were with him and I called them down for whatever reason. The two older boys slid down the embankment. I was surprised to hear Lover Boy call out for help. “I can’t get down!” Surely he was joking. So I yelled back to him, “you’ve done this a lot already, just sit down and slide like your brothers did”. Then, a blood curdling scream escaped his mouth. I rush closer to where he was, still safe at the top. “What is a matter?” I yell in a very frustrated voice, because he was fine, and that scream was enough to turn my blood cold. “There are ants” he screamed, “everywhere, they are all around me!” I yell out, “are they biting you?” Not much concern in my voice. “No”, he cries, “not yet”. I tried to climb up to him but I couldn’t reach him. He was paralyzed with fear. He looked at me, with “momma save me” in his eyes. My poor courageous little boy, couldn’t move. He started crying hysterically. I was yelling instructions feeling helpless to get to him. He wasn’t listening. I couldn’t see the ants, but I knew it wouldn’t be long before he got bit.
He wouldn’t listen and I couldn’t get to him. Then, in anger, (I know, I need to work on being more compassionate) I yelled at him “I can’t help you unless you let me. Walk this way to where I can reach you.” As you know, the thing about being paralyzed is you really can’t move. So somehow I climbed further and jumped grabbing his ankle and yanked him down. It would have probably been safer to let him get bit.
We both got to the bottom and I reprimanded him. “Why wouldn’t you trust me?” I ask him, still not very compassionate. “I was trying to help you. But you wouldn’t let me help you.” I then realized I was talking harshly. I gave him a hug and let him cry. Then I pray, “Thank You Lord, for protecting him from the ants and not letting him get bit”. Then… I cried too.
It was then, in my heart of hearts, I heard my heavenly Father whisper, “yes.. why won’t YOU trust Me. He is only 5 dear one. You know Me. You know that I am Almighty God, Sovereign and Creator of all things. You know that My arm is not too short, and nothing is impossible for Me. So, my daughter, what is your excuse? Why won’t you trust Me with everything?”
And so, here I am almost two years later, still needing to learn to trust my God who says,
"Fear not, for I am with you".
